Daytime TV
by BabayBunny
Summary: What happens when the GW Boys watch Daytime TV?


****

Disclaimer: Is this really necessary. For Godsakes are any of you REALLY gunna confuse me? 

Scene: All the GW Boys are sitting around Quatra's entertainment room watching his big screen TV, Duo is changing channels

Trowa: Just pick something Duo!

Duo: Well if you're going to be like that we can watch a talk show.

[Duo stops on Talk Show]

Talk-Show-Host: On today's episode we will be meeting the women who were used sexually by Quatra Raberba Winner and how he has used his money and power to force their silence.

Quatra: WHAT!?!?!?!

Duo: So....You have a dark side.

[Wufei, Trowa, and Heero give Quatra a side ways glance]

[TV a girl with blurred out face is being interviewed]

Girl1: Oh...at first it was wonderful, he would Wisk me away in his fancy ships and take me to the best restaurants...we would have the place to ourselves. He would whisper sweet nothings in my ear and gave me beautiful gifts. However, it was too good to be true. He soon forced me into Bizarre sexual acts with livestock for his pleasure.

[all GW boys look at Quatra]

Girl1: *starts crying*

Woman in audience: Why did you stay, Girlfriend!?

Girl1: I*sob*though he loved me*sob*

TSH: We will be back in a few moments with yet another of Quatra's victims. Who claims he threatened her life when she tried to leave him.

Commercial 

Trowa: That is obviously fake. Quatra is to nice to force women to please livestock.

Duo: I don't know you can't be that nice all the time.

Wufei: Yes, it's true and you can't forget he has killed in the past battles. Why wouldn't he torture a few women?

Duo: Too true, too true.

Heero:...I don't know Duo...

Quatra: How could you guys say that?! I would never do those things! The battles served a purpose!

Duo: And so does that! Your own sick pleasure Heh heh heh heh

Quatra: Oh!!!

Trowa: Started!

TSH: We are back with Shantell, who says Quatra forced her not only to please him but his friends as well.

[Camera pans to 500lb behemoth]

Girl2: Yup, at first it was just like she said...wonderful...he never even mentioned my weight except to say that he liked big women "Lot more to luv".

Quatra: Oh God! You don't believe that!

Duo: Hmmmm....*looks thoughtful* I never knew that about you Quatra.

Trowa:.....

Wufei: *look of disgust*

Heero: ugh!

Quatra: What if my family sees this!

Duo: They would have to find out sooner of later about your...special tastes.

Girl2: *is crying* And then he brought them in...all 4 of his friends! They took turns on me! All the while, Quatra...whispering in my ear that since I was so big I needed more men to please me!...After that...I told him I was going to leave him...and he said...in a cold voice*wimpier* "You do that...and you'll breath vacuum!" gesturing to an Air lock.

TSH: So he said he would shove you out an air lock?!

Girl2: yes *sob* he *sob* did!

TSH: Next Break we'll be back with more on this Winner Sex scandal!

Trowa: *looking at Quatra* I...I don't believe that...

Duo: *mimicking Trowa* I...I don't believe you did that SICKO! 500LB!!!

Heero: Don't forget she said we were all there.

Wufei: She didn't name names. Quatra has many friends.

Quatra: *in shock stares wide eyed, unblinking at the screen*

Heero: well that _is_ true but....500lb?!

Wufei: I don't see how come that is a problem. Many men like big women.

[All GW Boys look at Wufei]

Wufei: NOT ME!!! But many men do!!!

Duo: Ok...a little more we know about Wufei.

Trowa: Started!

TSH: Now we are going to meet a young lady, who not just claims to have been forced into the bed of Quatra Raberba Winner but has a tape to prove it.

Girl3: I have to admit when we first stared out Quatra made it clear that he liked it rough, and that was ok with me. So long as she stopped when I said to. But he tied me down and took a lamp...and forced it one me!

[The audience]

Yes...the whole time I kept praying. "Don't let the bulb brake!"

TSH: Lets see some of the video, I want out TV audience to remember this will be graphic. Some of you may want to turn away.

Duo: WHERE THE HELL ARE THE BLANK TAPES!!!*searches in vain*

Video Girl: No! Please Quatra! Stop! STOP! *her voice rises to a horrible winning pitch* SWEET MOTHER OF GOD NOOOOO!!!!!

Video Quatra: [only the back is visible in the blurry Black and White tape] *deep mans voice* You know you want it, baby! Yes...YES!!!

Quatra(the real one): That does not even sound like me and I can afford a better Video Camera then that! She is a gold digging whore! I will probably be hearing from her lawyers!

TSH: Well, that is enough of the tape...the rest is to graphic for TV....[to girl3] Wasn't Quatra worried when you got hold of this tape?

Girl3: No...He said.... No one would believe me...he could afford a much better camera with his kind of money. I would just look like some kind of gold digging whore.

[All GW Boys look at Quatra]

Quatra:*pales and puts his head in his hands* *in muffled voice* my father is turning in his grave.

TSH: Next A woman who is not afraid to confront Quatra and ask for the retribution she deserves she also has a surprised guest with her.

Commercial 

Wufei: So...Quatra who needs retribution?

Quatra: *is annoyed* How should I know that?!

Duo: That's right Wufei, it could be anyone of Quatra's play things.

Quatra: *gives Duo a dirty look* I don't have any play things Duo. I never had any play things...hell...all I have is sisters. I know women are not play things. I'm not that kind of guy....I don't care anymore. You will believe what you want *looks down at feet*

Duo:........

Trowa:....Quatra....what do you mean you...._never had_ any play things?

Quatra: Nothing...forget it...

Heero: Quatra.

Quatra: I don't want to answer the question.

Duo: Quatra answer the question! Quatra!!! QUATRA!!! QUATRA!!!

Quatra: ok...so I know this never happened...it couldn't!

Trowa: It Started!

TSH: We are here with our guest Dorothy Catalonia and her surprise guest Quatra's 1_½ _year old son!

[GW boys and audience gasp]

Quatra: Do...Dor...Dorothy, DOROTHY is she crazy!!! I hate her, I hate her, I....

Dorothy: Yes, I want retribution but not for me...for my son...Quatra's son.

[Dorothy puts the child in her lap, its hair color and styled like Quatra's, its mothers hideous face and eyebrows] 

He needs his father, he needs the world to know that he is Quatra's son...Quatra Jr. All he needs is for his father*looks at camera**dramatic pause* Quatra...to give him his name...the Winner name.

Duo: I gotta go...

Wufei: Now Duo!?

Duo:*looks around* ya...I forgot something I'll be back.

Trowa: Dorothy wants Quatra to give her kid the Winner name so he can inherit all Quatra's money

Heero: hmm. you could be right.

TSH: So you are saying Quatra knew about the pregnancy?

Dorothy: Yes, he knew. He tried to force me to get an abortion but I would never...anyway I have a Doctor who has the Blood Tests to prove this is Quatra's Child.

TSH: *Hand to ear piece* What? Oh, that's wonderful. * to everyone* We have a caller who claims o be one of Quatra's close personal friends.

Duo's Voice: Uh...yes this is a lie! Quatra Hates Dorothy. She tried to kill him and failed. That is why she concocted this ridicules story to smear his good name!

Wufei's Voice: Yes, Dorothy is dishonorable and weak!

Heero: *looks around*

Trowa: Was that...Duo and Wufei!?

Quatra: Oh god...

Duo's voice: Anyways everyone knows Quatra likes big women!

Quatra: Wh...What DUO!!!

[Quatra leaves in search of Duo]

Heero: I'm not saving them.

Trowa: Wufei didn't really do anything.

TSH: *to Quatra Jr*Do you know who your daddy is?

Quatra Jr: yes *points to picture of Quatra* Daddy.

Dou's voice: The kid had been prepped he would say any blond man was daddy.

Quatra's voice: *faint* Duo...Duo get out of that room and hang up that phone Duo...Duo I'm going to cut the line if you don't let me in.

Duo's voice: Quatra is good, kind, decent God fairing! He would never-

Quatra's voice: DUO!!!! *sound of struggle*

TSH: What is going on....what is happing there?!

Duo's voice: Ok. I hung up the phone. What is the problem if you don't want the kid. You should not have stopped me.

Quatra's voice: That is not my kid. Dorothy is lying and any Doctor who says different is bought and paid for...I hate Dorothy.

Duo's voice: Yeah, but you could have gotten her-

Quatra's voice: No! I couldn't...well I could but I know I haven't.

Duo's voice: How could you know. I mean nothing is 100%.

Quatra's voice: I NEVER DID IT! OK! I have not had the time and I'm not into one night stands! I'm a VIRGIN!!! OK DUO!!! I'M A GOD DAMNED CHERRY!!! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW!!! I don't care any more...let the guests at the show say what they want....They're all liars. I....Duo...*looking at phone*...Duo...I thought you said you....

Duo's voice: Oops! So I forgot....I thought I hung up the phone ^_^;

[Quatra faints]

Duo's voice: Oh SHIT!!! Help I think Quatra's having a heart attack...ARGGG

TSH: Well, there we have it. From Quatra Raberba Winner's own mouth...but is it the truth or a cleaver rues to lead us away from his Dark path? You be the judge....I'm sorry to say that we have run out of time. Please join us next week were we meet Women who love men who_ love _ gundams, and what strange Ritualistic Sex Rites they practice.

GW Boys: WHAT!?!?!?!? 

~(*_*)~

Soooo what do you think? Just got the idea one day when I had finished watching Junk TV...man i love that stuff. I thought I would bee fun so I wrote this up.

I had this for a while but never got around to typing it up.

~(*_*)~


End file.
